It's In The Mail
Reading something on stage
can be an effective entertainment tool. It is one way to incorporate humor that
doesn't fit your character. If you like a joke, but it isn't something your
character would say, you can read it as if written by somebody else. It can
sometimes be substituted for a character in a skit when you don't have enough
performers to cast it completely.
Reading letters has long been
part of the repertoire of clowns and
comedians.
Joseph Grimaldi, the father of modern clowning,
read letters in the 1806 production of
Harlequin and Mother Goose; or, The Golden Egg. Grimaldi's larcenous
character stole the letters out of a mail box. Opening the envelopes, Grimaldi
stuffed any money he found in his pockets, and paused to read some of the
letters to the audience. Finally he found a noose in one envelope along with a
note saying, "I'll just trouble you with a line."
Sometimes a solo clown will read a letter to the
audience. At other times, one character will read a letter to a second character
who comments on its contents. For example, a TV episode of the Burns And
Allen Show (
Gracie replies, "My mother."
"What's the joke?
"Well, my mother said my sister Hazel said something funny today." (laughs some more)
"What did Hazel say?"
"I haven't read that far yet."
"Then what are you laughing about?"
"My mother, Hazel never says anything funny."
George concludes, "Well maybe she should get some writers."
Sometimes the letter or its envelope is used to
reveal something about a character. In another Burns & Allen episode (
"Yes." Gracie replies, "She always adds a ten
cent stamp as a tip for the postman."
Another program that used letters from an absent
character a lot was the Jack Benny Show.
Frequently Mary would read a letter from her mother while Jack
commented on what was said. The greetings and salutations were always
topical references using the name of a current
movie, radio program, hit play, etc. For example, when Mary announced she had
received a letter, Jack would say, "How nice. And what does 'The Midnight
Cowboy' of
Vaudeville headliner and
tramp clown Nat Wills introduced topical humor into his act by reading out loud
telegrams he found in a trash can. For example, in the early 1900's when arctic
exploration was very much in the news Wills read, "To the Geographic Society
from arctic expedition. We bumped into a clothesline last night. Expect to
discover the pole shortly."
Here is another example of
how letters can be used to introduce topical material. There were problems with
the sound system during the Staff Bits show at the U-W Clown Camp ® in June
1998. Everyone who tried to use music with their act had difficulty. Lee
Mullally held up an envelope, announced he had E-Mail, opened the envelope, and
pulled out a piece of paper cut in the shape of a capital E. Reading from the
piece of paper, he said, "Oh, it's from my mother. She says, 'son, don't try to
use music in your act. '" The timely comment got a big laugh. Since the audience
can't see what you are "reading" you can say anything you want as if it is
written down.
In a letter you can tell a
joke as if it happened to somebody else and they are telling you about it in a
letter. For example, "Dearest daughter, The doctor told me I should be getting
more exercise so I've been going for walks. Yesterday I was listening to the
Titanic sound track on my walkman and not really paying attention to where I was
going. I began to get tired so I decided I had better go back home, but I wasn't
sure where I was. Fortunately I found a pizza parlor pretty soon. I went in,
ordered a ham and pineapple pizza to be delivered, and rode home with the man.
Your loving, Mother."
If you don't have enough
people to perform a skit, see if you can substitute a letter for one of the
characters. For example, Chocolat and Footit
performed this routine with the Ringmaster in
circuses in the late 1800's.
Footit: Chocolat, come here, I have a riddle for
you. My parents had a child. It wasn't my brother and it wasn't my sister. Who
was it?
Chocolat: I don't know.
Footit: It was me.
Chocolat: Mr. Ringmaster. Come here I have a
riddle for you. My parents had a child. It wasn't my brother and it wasn't my
sister. Who was it?
Ringmaster: It was you.
Chocolat: No it was Footit.
That could be performed by a duo if it was
changed like this.
Lou: (entering reading a letter) Dear Lou, Your
Uncle Grock told us a wonderful riddle. He said, "My parents had a child. It
wasn't my brother and it wasn't my sister. Who was it?" The answer is it was
your Uncle Grock. Your loving Father. (Starts laughing) Oh, that is a funny
riddle. I have to tell Mark. Hey, Mark, come out here!
(Mark enters)
Lou: Listen, my father told me about a riddle he
heard from my Uncle Grock. "My parents had a child. It wasn't my brother and it
wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
Mark: Oh, that's easy. It was you.
Lou: No, it wasn't. It was my Uncle Grock.
Letters can be used to introduce a scene or
setting. For example, on The Big Comfy
Couch, a TV program shown on PBS, Loonette receives a letter from her
Auntie Macassar. Then sometimes while Loonette reads the letter, the action cuts
away to Auntie Macassar performing a comedy sketch.
This device was used to frame entire episodes of
the M*A*S*H TV series. The program would open with one of the characters writing
home. They would start talking about something that happened as a way of
introducing a scene. Then the show would cut to that scene. When that scene was
over they would cut back to the letter writer who then set up the premise for
the next scene. It was an effective device that could be used by the emcee of a
clown skit show•
